Week 16 Update

Wow, this has been a nutty week! I started cramping in the lower belly Monday, then spotting, then of course FREAKING OUT. So it started...

My OB is out for a few weeks for hand surgery. I called her office early Tuesday morning, they could get me into her substitute OB on Wednesday at noon. Then they called me back and sent me to the hospital for an ultrasound. My big concern had been dilation, and I expressed this to the girl, she said they'd check that at the hospital.

Yeah, they didn't. They did a full scan of the baby, measuring everything, and didn't even once stop to look at my cervix. And you know how those hospital techs are, completely tight-lipped.

Wednesday, at the substitute OB's office, I got another ultrasound. Fortunately the tech there told me everything looked great, both with the baby and my cervix. I guess I have a tilted uterus, and an anterior placenta, but the baby looks great. Heart rate of 144, roughly 5 ounces, size-wise the baby's only a few days behind now.

And, in her experienced opinion, even at the early date....



Finding Balance

Houston, we have a problem.

Andrew's been displaying some unusual behaviors in school lately. I'd attributed it to his bout of bronchitis back in the Ides of March, but apparently his preschool teacher has a different opinion. Not that there's anything wrong with that - we're certainly not experts at this parenting thing. But she talked to Yasar about them, and he seems to be running with it.

Her opinion? Andrew's acting out because of the baby. Yasar's opinion? It's all my fault. I'm talking about the baby too much, paying more attention to my middle than my son, and I'm promoting a pre-sibling rivalry thing here.

Of course I'm happy about the baby. I'm excited! After so many years of trying to get pregnant and facing disappointment month after month, this is a fantastic surprise! Now, how do I get Andrew on board with me?

Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm as obsessive about this pregnancy as I was my first. Sure, I enjoy checking out what all the different websites say about the baby's development as the weeks go by. And it's awesome to get an ultrasound and peek in on the little one. But I have Andrew now, my entire focus can't be on the pregnancy. So it's not.

But I do talk to Andrew about it. After all, he's going to be almost six when we bring his new brother or sister home. He's at an age where he understands things, and can process more complex concepts. We can reason with him. Which is what I've been trying to do - prepare him. Getting books from the library and DVD's on baby development. I figured if he could grasp the miracle that this is, he'd have more of a benevolent demeanor towards his new sibling.

Apparently I'm wrong. I guess they expect you to come home with newborn to a completely oblivious kindergartener, and deal with it on the spot. Yeah, that's not going to be high drama, is it?

So I turn to you, helpful reader. What are your thoughts on how to address this? What would be the best way to balance this out, keep Andrew in the loop without overloading him with TMI?


15 Weeks

Well, the baby looks like a baby now. No more reptilian features, webbed fingers and tail's gone, and (s)he actually has a neck now. And getting bigger every day. I marvel at the miracle....

Not much to report with me. I feel better, the nausea's all but gone. The maternity clothes I bought are super-comfy, but still not strictly necessary.

I've really been spending alot of time trolling craigslist and seeking out great deals on the items we're going to need. Last night was a bathtub and a Pack & Play. Once we find out if it's going to be Mildred or Wilbur, the shopping will definitely intensify. But, until then, I'm sitting on my hands.

I'm pleased at how quiet everything is here. Because it's time to start cleaning and packing up this house.


Further Updates from the OB

Okay, first things first - no weight gain. :)

The PAP came back abnormal, but they won't be doing any further investigating until after the delivery. Not sure whether to be nervous about that or not, but Yasar looked like a bomb dropped when we got that tidbit. I tried to explain to him that, worst case scenario, cervical cancer is one of the most treatable. And abnormals often correct themselves over time. We leave it in God's capable hands.

As you may hear in the video, the baby is measuring a little small. Developmentally behind between 8 and 10 days. I'm blaming this on my appetite. Anyway, Dr. Ocampo has scheduled another ultrasound for my next appointment, and I'm guessing this is why. Unfortunately, I just don't know how to gain weight! I mean, the day before the appointment, I put away a whole medium thin crust veggie pizza by myself, and if that's not going to make the scale budge, what will? I may have to tell the doctor about my family history - both my mom and my sister couldn't put on weight during pregnancy. I can't help but be a little smug about my weight, after the fat-fest that was Andrew's pregnancy. I'm just so glad I have resources....

Which brings me to my next bit of news. I was approved for WIC this week! I'm not so concerned about the free food as access to both a nutritionist and a lactation consultant, as well as continuing education classes. I talked to the nutritionist and explained my goal of gaining 15-20 lbs in this pregnancy, and she supported that. So, if I have any concerns, it's nice to have someone to call.

So that's what's been going on here. We go back to the OB when I'm just barely into my 19th week, with high hopes on finding out if it's going to be a Wilbur or a Mildred.


Guess what? We're having a....

Baby! Sorry, we'll find out the flavor next month. Until then, for your viewing pleasure....


The Pursuit of Normalcy

So many areas of my life seem to be in an uproar right now. We've got the pregnancy, a good kind of instability. Then the double whammy of bankruptcy and foreclosure. Now we've had a new situation pop up this week that has really thrown me for a loop. I find myself desperately seeking the unconditional.

And I think I found it at church.

The Easter celebration ended in a wonderful song put on by our choir, one they had clearly put their entire hearts into. Completely uplifting. But what really gripped my heart was the visual display they were using during the singing. It was a picture of a man in a t-shirt, looking pretty worse-for-the-wear, as if he could not even support his own weight. But behind him was Jesus, holding him up with a look of love and His nail-scarred hands. How a man could go through the tortures Jesus did that Good Friday so long ago, and still feel completely devoted to us is beyond me. If it were just any one of us in His shoes, don't you think we'd feel contempt for the people we sacrificed our lives for, only to be belittled, disrespected, or even disregarded by those same people? I get upset when I send someone a birthday card and don't get thanked! Someday we'll understand the depths of His love, or not, depending on our beliefs. But I thank God for His unfailing and unconditional love for me, someone so completely unworthy.

And, as a nice little dessert to that wonderful meal, the social aspect of church is not lost on me. The people there can be counted on for emotional support, lots of hugs, and prayers. I'm so grateful for the camaraderie, the friends who are so generous with their hugs, the sense of belonging to a group. I even had an email from a friend last week who had just gone through some of the same problems we're facing, and was open to talking about their experiences with us - the courage of that isn't lost on me, even in these economic times, bankruptcy still carries the same stigma.

It's so great to know you're not alone, both with Jesus and with fellow believers. It makes it easier to keep your current situation in perspective, knowing that Heaven awaits, and until then you've got some of the greatest shoulders to lean on.


14 Weeks

My baby, oh those changes! You're supposed to be as big as my fist now, covered with lanugo, sucking your thumb and swimming away. All your organs are fully functioning, as is the placenta. That probably explains why I'm feeling more human these days. Thank you!

Pretty soon I'll be feeling you bump against the inside of my tummy. They say it's usually 16 to 20 weeks, but it happens sooner if you've already had a baby. This is something I'm really looking forward to, since this pregnancy still doesn't seem "real". I've not really gained weight, my boobs still look close to normal. It's still too easy to discredit everything, even the ultrasounds.

This week's food cravings? It's been all about the baked potato. Mmm-mmmmmm! Since my husband's not much of a fan of ham, and doesn't enjoy turkey at all, we improvised Easter dinner into a roasted chicken, asparagus, and this fingerling potato mix that was on the clearance rack at Meijer this week. Weird, purple potatoes, along with some normal reds and baby Yukon Golds. The purple ones didn't taste any different, but I couldn't make myself swallow them. But those others went down pretty smooth, along with some chow-chow.

Ultrasound this week. We're anxiously awaiting Thursday's appointment. I'm hoping thqat maybe seeing this baby become a reality to Andrew will push me along with him.


13 Weeks

My baby, how you're growing! Anywhere from 3 to 3.5 inches long, you're a little longer than my middle finger. I keep looking at my hands and trying to picture you, all the while convincing myself that you're real, and growing inside me. Your teeth are starting to form under your gums, and you already have one-of-a-kind fingerprints. You are truly a miracle.

I'm having trouble believing that we're pregnant. I seem to be losing weight, and I fell asleep on my stomach last night with no discomfort. I'm not feeling nauseated or overly tired anymore - that's a blessing! But I'm just not interested in food. I talked to my sister last night, she said this is probably what normal-weighted people feel, not obsessed about food, just simply using it as fuel. Interesting.

Yasar and I thought we'd come up with the perfect names for boy/girl, but we've revisited them this week and picked out new ones. It's sometimes hard to compromise with him, his ideas of names come from a completely different world than mine.

Other than that, things are quiet. Ultrasound next week.



In some strange way, doesn't this remind you of Colin's dancing skills when he used to play (in his skivvies, no less!).