Finding Balance

Houston, we have a problem.

Andrew's been displaying some unusual behaviors in school lately. I'd attributed it to his bout of bronchitis back in the Ides of March, but apparently his preschool teacher has a different opinion. Not that there's anything wrong with that - we're certainly not experts at this parenting thing. But she talked to Yasar about them, and he seems to be running with it.

Her opinion? Andrew's acting out because of the baby. Yasar's opinion? It's all my fault. I'm talking about the baby too much, paying more attention to my middle than my son, and I'm promoting a pre-sibling rivalry thing here.

Of course I'm happy about the baby. I'm excited! After so many years of trying to get pregnant and facing disappointment month after month, this is a fantastic surprise! Now, how do I get Andrew on board with me?

Don't get me wrong, I don't think I'm as obsessive about this pregnancy as I was my first. Sure, I enjoy checking out what all the different websites say about the baby's development as the weeks go by. And it's awesome to get an ultrasound and peek in on the little one. But I have Andrew now, my entire focus can't be on the pregnancy. So it's not.

But I do talk to Andrew about it. After all, he's going to be almost six when we bring his new brother or sister home. He's at an age where he understands things, and can process more complex concepts. We can reason with him. Which is what I've been trying to do - prepare him. Getting books from the library and DVD's on baby development. I figured if he could grasp the miracle that this is, he'd have more of a benevolent demeanor towards his new sibling.

Apparently I'm wrong. I guess they expect you to come home with newborn to a completely oblivious kindergartener, and deal with it on the spot. Yeah, that's not going to be high drama, is it?

So I turn to you, helpful reader. What are your thoughts on how to address this? What would be the best way to balance this out, keep Andrew in the loop without overloading him with TMI?


  1. Tess never really cared when I was prego, being the independent kid she was and is, she just always shrugged it off, She just turned 4 when he was born and I remember when she came to the hospital to see him, she looked annoyed when I handed him to her, like wtf am I supposed to do with this. She then polietly told me I could "put him back now". It was so cute, however they are now best friends thank goodness. I am not sure what advice to offer, like I said tess was just never into it.

  2. He has a lot going on in his world right now: baby, packing up the house, Daddy working maybe longer hours to train at work, his world is not "normal" and I would expect nothing different from Samuel. I guess my only thought was to keep showing him that you love him (hugs and kisses) and see if he wants to talk about any of the new changes, he might not talk right at that moment, but maybe when you are driving somewhere or he is getting ready for bed. It seems to take guys longer to figure out what they are thinking and feeling than it does for us women. IMHO.

  3. Thanks for the link to the recipe. I can't wait to try them.