As the days tick down to Leila's birthday, it seems like all the grieving "progress" is going down the tubes.
I'm weepy. Always on the verge of tearing up. Oversensitive.
Is this normal?
The first line of "I Will Carry You" just echoes in my head.
"There were photographs I wanted to take..."
That photo of Leila at about 6 months old,
forehead to forehead with Yasar,
a little pink bow in her hair,
a look of adoration in his eyes.
I wanted to take that photograph so badly.
Usually it's hard to separate the sadness of infertility from the sadness of having a daughter in heaven.
That's not been the case lately.
I can SEE her in my mind. And I miss her so intensely.
God, please give my little girl a hug for me. Tell her how much I love her.