Ready for my Badge of Honor Now...

I swear, I deserve some kind of medal or award for sitting in my old OB's office and keeping it together. And even talking to Dr. C, who had no idea Leila wasn't here with us on earth anymore (he strictly does GYN, while Dr. O does both OB and GYN).

It's not lost on me that, since Leila was not technically 20 weeks and therefore could not be listed as a stillbirth, the OBGYN history shows me as having "surgery" 5/21/09.

Ouch. OUCH!


Anyway, Dr. C. is scheduling bloodwork on in a few weeks to catch me midcycle and see where my hormones are at. AND he wants to do a pap, even though I'm not due for one until July. His concern is that abnormal pap I got on my first pregnancy visit with Leila, even though the follow-up was normal.

Let's just pray that Blue Cross/Blue Shield covers this. My health insurance has no maternity rider. Not that, at this point, it's me trying to get pregnant. I've no doubt that eventually it will evolve into that, but right now it's just about figuring out why my body is acting the way it is.

At this moment, I'm just emotionally drained. And more than due for a big glass of vino. I'll take that over a medal any day.


  1. {{{hugs}}} it seems to be a hard day in angel baby mama land today. Emelia should be 2 months old today, Lucy (my friend's baby) should be 9 months old today....
    I can't believe that it would say "surgery" on your medical records ~ kind of like checking to make sure all the "products of conception" have passed....heaven forbid we say that "b" word ~ baby.
    I'm going to get bloodwork done this next week to check hormone levels too.
    Paxton told me today we should "have another baby" because he wants a sister....I just about lost it in front of him, but was able to hold the tears in and keep an unwavering voice until he left the room.
    Yeah today stinks.

  2. Sending you massive hugs. How hard that must have been to sit there throught that visit. Hoping all you labwork comes back normal and your body gets itself together.

  3. I hope that your insurance covers everything. Don't want you to have to pay for that yourself!! Maybe it'll help just seeing a dr that's GYN and they can't try and say it's maternity related.