What a horrible weekend this was! It all started Friday, rainy day, and I had the very worst case of the blues I'd ever had. I mean, I was starting to get scared for myself.
Saturday was another day at work. I spent so much of it in prayer, and in tears. I hate to look at antidepressants as my help - does that mean I don't trust in God to get me through this? I'm struggling with that question. I'm not sure if the issue is the situation we're facing or a chemical imbalance (there is a strong family history of mental issues in my family). I have a bottle of happy pills awaiting me at the pharmacy, but I'm still on the fence as to whether to take them or not.
It's funny, when things get bad, I always return to the same two songs - Held by Natalie Grant and Cry on My Shoulder by Overflow. These songs held the promises I clung to during the miscarriage, when Andrew got scalded, and when we were dealing with his dogbite and the aftermath. It's these songs that consistently bring me to my knees, and make me feel Jesus's arms holding me, caring for me and begging me to rely on Him. I'm so grateful.
And I'm grateful that this past weekend is past.