The Weekend in Review

What a horrible weekend this was! It all started Friday, rainy day, and I had the very worst case of the blues I'd ever had. I mean, I was starting to get scared for myself.

Saturday was another day at work. I spent so much of it in prayer, and in tears. I hate to look at antidepressants as my help - does that mean I don't trust in God to get me through this? I'm struggling with that question. I'm not sure if the issue is the situation we're facing or a chemical imbalance (there is a strong family history of mental issues in my family). I have a bottle of happy pills awaiting me at the pharmacy, but I'm still on the fence as to whether to take them or not.

It's funny, when things get bad, I always return to the same two songs - Held by Natalie Grant and Cry on My Shoulder by Overflow. These songs held the promises I clung to during the miscarriage, when Andrew got scalded, and when we were dealing with his dogbite and the aftermath. It's these songs that consistently bring me to my knees, and make me feel Jesus's arms holding me, caring for me and begging me to rely on Him. I'm so grateful.

And I'm grateful that this past weekend is past.


  1. You wrote:
    " I hate to look at antidepressants as my help - does that mean I don't trust in God to get me through this? I'm struggling with that question."

    I'm so sorry you're struggling with depression. I've been there too, and asked the exact same question. Something that helped me shed some light on the answer was to think about this: what if the biochemical imbalance was not in neurotransmitters, but in, say, a hormone like insulin... would I think that taking insulin for diabetes was somehow not trusting in God? Of course not.

    Would I judge a diabetic who uses insulin as prescribed the way I am judging myself for taking antidepressants? Of course not.

    Could it be possible that antidepressants are God's way of answering your prayers for help to cope with your depression?

    Take good care of yourself!

  2. emily, take your meds! it's not a bad thing, then you can at least rule things out! you will probably feel better and that's not a bad thing. God gave us our intelligence so that we can problem solve. if there's a problem that needs solving, and you have the ability, solve it! if you had cancer would you not take the chemo for fear of offending God and not trusting in His healing power? NO probably not! you'd take them, because they are proven to work in some cases, and not in others. i believe it is the same with anti-depressants. we all get down girlfriend! some of us just have a little trouble getting back up! you've got a lot going on in your life, you don't have to do it all by yourself! yes, PRAY! yes, BELIEVE! yes, lean on not your own understanding! but if you need them, just do it! forget about all of the "negative" stigma that goes along with taking anti-depressants. i took them, eric's taken them, they help - and then you get back on your feet and hopefully you get off of them. now, i know someone who's gone down to the nicholas center in piqua to get therapy down there and they think it's awesome, but i don't have any idea what costs or aid are? check it out - they can do (and diagnose) some amazing things! i love you girl - don't give in to the guilt! :) Casey

  3. E ..
    first time reader here ..

    I was in a church service years ago when someone asked the church to pray for God to guide a surgeons hand during a surgery. The person beside memumbled, "God won't help a doctor, God is a healer." I politely opened my Bible to the book of Luke and pointed to the name. "What," he asked. "Luke was a doctor," I told him, "and Jesus chose his as one of his disciples."
    He decided that his hastily tossed out comment might have been wrong.

    Sometimes, God just moves miraculously, and sometimes God uses the doctor. Still, the glory belongs to God.

    Stand on your faith, either way.