Starbucks New Breakfast Line?

An article in USA Today Tuesday reported that Starbucks is unveiling a new breakfast line, complete with higher fiber, lower fat options to encourage more wallet-dumping at the counter. While this is no real surprise, surely Fourbucks is feeling the pinch of the economic downturn at least as much as anyone else, their chosen medium left me with my mouth agape.

A fruit & nut bar? Protein shake? Apple bran muffin (with real fruit)? OATMEAL?

Okay, people, who in their right mind would buy oatmeal from Fourbucks? The cheapest, one of the easiest to make, completely customizable, a frugal staple in our kitchen...would I actually PAY for someone else to make it for me?

And, if I would ever waste a good ten-spot at the Starbucks, am I going to purchase something I can make at home for pennies, or indulge in a guilty pleasure, like a froo-froo coffee and one of those biscotti-thingys? That's a no-brainer...I would never waste the $10.

This is proof-positive that there's a sucker born every minute. People will be lining up for a basically healthy breakfast that Starbucks will be corrupting in an effort to make it taste better/prepare easier/cost less, rather than lining up at their own microwaves in the morning and enjoying unadulterated, made-to-order, uber-cheap way to start their day.

Starbucks has made a market out of those suckers and their coffee habits. Now we're adding a whole new layer of stupid.


  1. Microwave?!?

    The only way to make oatmeal is the cooking way; stove top, heavy cream, and honey. Raisins/nuts/fruit optional, but strongly suggested.

  2. new layer of stupid....ROTF!! love it. just goes so well with your recipes