Winding Down

A wise woman once said, "grief is like an onion - it has lots of layers. Just when you think you're doing well, another layer will peel off and you'll be left crying again."

For the past week or so, I've been feeling good. Not crying. Stable. Even happy. I find I have less to say on my blog. Is it possible that I'm getting over the intense pain? Or will another layer peel off?

AF is due in about a week. Yasar has been put on notice that I will be an emotional mess, and he's okay with that. I have no doubt she's coming, and here's my theory as to why:

I believe that God will be glorified with my next pregnancy. His goal is to be as glorified as possible. So does it make sense that He'll bless me when I'm more likely to get pregnant due to hormones? No. We've also been offered Clomid by the OB if we weren't pregnant after 3 cycles. Would it glorify God if I got pregnant using medical intervention? Not as much as it will when He drops that bomb on me again a few months (years) down the road. So I'm not expecting any surprises. Hopefully that takes the emotional aspect away from AF.

Another sign that I'm feeling better is that I don't desire to spend as much time on the computer anymore. I love all you fellow DBM's, and I still pray for you every chance I get.

So I hope you're fine with the slower pace over here at Mumblings. And maybe a few non-pregnancy loss posts. And I hope you know I wouldn't be where I am without you....


  1. Glad you are doing better!

  2. Emily-

    I'm happy that you are feeling some peace. Don't be surprised if your grief returns now and again. It's completely normal. It doesn't mean that you are going backwards -- just a little up and down on this crazy roller coaster we're on. If that happens, please reach out. Support and understanding help tremendously.


  3. You're doing great. Who knows maybe another layer will peel off, but with each layer that peels there's less of the onion left.

    You're going to be just fine and God has and will bless you again and again.

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  5. I'm glad to hear things have been good. I hope they continue to be and that you have less down days. And I'm totally ok with posts not about loss. :)

  6. This is a wonderful post! I am so happy you are feeling some peace.

  7. ditto over here I have had a good week too, but I still check your blog regularly too...will still be thinking of you!