Now, I'm an old lady. On the cusp of the dreaded 35 (6 more days! Eeek!). So no, I did not stay up last night to watch a lighted ball lowered in NYC. I was in bed, dreaming the dreams Nyquil provides (yeah, I'm sick, too).
But before bed I had an interesting reaction to the new year. One would think, after as crappy as this year has been, I'd be all too happy to put this sucker to rest and start anew, right?
I had a mini-anxiety attack last night.
2009 was a shit year,
but it was the year I held my daughter.
I wasn't ready to let that go yet.
I feel like I've been pushed into the next year.
2009 will always be the year that I held Leila.
In my belly. In my arms.
Going forward into 2010, I can only hold her in my heart.