1.25.2010

Saying Goodbye...Again

My car is weighted down, just like my heart. Last night I bagged and boxed Leila's clothes and sundries up and heaped it all into my little grey car. We'll be making a trip to the local chapter of Right to Life to donate these things to someone who will really benefit from them.

I'm trying to focus on the good here. That maybe someone will make the decision not to abort their child. That Leila will have a small part or influence in that decision.

Still, I can't even describe to you how hard that was. Putting all those little outfits into garbage bags. Boxing up my maternity clothes. Carrying it all downstairs and filling up first the trunk and then the backseat of the car.

A few things I kept. My friend Christine bought me a little pink baby book and a musical bunny when she found out Leila was a little girl. I can't part with those, both because of Leila's memory and now Christine's, as well...she's leaving me, moving 1600 miles away early next month.

God, I've had enough with grief. Could You please rustle up some joy for me?

12 comments:

  1. It's coming, Emily. Joy IS coming.

    Love & blessings, Kim W<><

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  2. Emily, I wish I could send a huge hug from NH to OH!! I am so sorry you have to part with some of Leila's items. *hugs*

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  3. Praying for some joy to be sent your way today! I think donating these items is such an awesome thing! Someone will definatley get a little part of Lelia in them. *HUGS*

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  4. I think that it's great that you are using Leila's memory to bless others. You are doing something beautiful and that will be rewarded. Praying that you receive and abundance of Joy in this life.

    Hugs,
    Trisha

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  5. Praying God brings you great joy as you share your precious Leila's things with others! I know it must be very hard!

    When I lost Faith, I had to return things to the store and it was very hard! It is not supposed to be this way! I have to keep trusting God in spite of my situation!

    Blessings,
    Karen

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  6. What a difficult thing to do. It's also such a beautiful gesture in Leila's honor. Good is coming to you, Emily. It's your turn. You deserve it. I feel it! huge hug! xxxx

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  7. I hope that today is good - I really do.

    Thank you for your sweet and supportive words on my post. I've actually sent my "drowning" post to a couple of magazines but never heard back. I would absolutely LOVE for that post to be published somewhere...anywhere so that people would read it and understand more of what our experience is like. Maybe if we teach people what to do THEY WILL KNOW.

    Hugs,
    Trisha

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  8. Many hugs for you, Emily. I'm sorry you can't keep Leila's things. (((((((()))))))

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  9. I know it had to be hard but you did a really great thing donating those clothes and other items. You are helping women!! I'm glad you kept some things and I'm sorry your friend is moving away. :( I am praying for God to bring you joy!

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