No, not big f***ing deal. That was sooo 25 years ago.


The Triple Whammy.

Because that's how it usually goes down, right?

How about the DBBFD?

A huge serving of BFD preceded by an appetizer of Dead Baby.

Too much has happened in to short a time.

I don't relate to my husband.

And I don't particularly care.

I feel like I've sacrificed everything for his ego, his dreams

and we have NOTHING to show for it.

And I just can't be blamed for that anymore.

He says I've stopped caring about things.

In some ways, that's good.

All the drama from PA this summer has just rolled off, never really registering to begin with.

But, when it comes to him "not feeling the love" from me, it's not desirable.

He actually used the D word yesterday.

Maybe he finally gets it?


  1. Oh, Emily. I'm so sorry. Being dead baby parents is hard enough on a marriage. I can't imagine piling bankruptcy and foreclosure on top of it. I'm thinking of you. Hang in there.

  2. I don't know what to say. WTF comes to mind. I am so sorry.

  3. Ugh, all of those letters suck and I wish you didn't have to do any of these things~ I don't know all the details of your life and your marriage but hopefully you guys can work things out...if thats possible~

    Praying for you and for all that you have going on right now...

  4. I don't know what to say. I could tell you to hold on, have strength, but you and I both know that's easier said than done. Marriages suffer tremendously after a loss; some couples overcome it and become stronger, some couples it comes between and breaks apart.

    Prayer is the only way to get through this. Just hold on to God and let Him guide you. And I'll be praying for your hearts to be brought together again and your marriage healed.

  5. Oh Em! Ugh! Dead Baby brings along so much more baggage. I can't imagine being in your shoes. Frankly there's a lot of depression flaoting around Dead Baby Land and why would you care? I have a hard time caring about anything. And then lump in the other BS in your lives... Sigh. Makes me want to whip out a baseball bat and beat something!

  6. I'm so sorry, I'll be praying that some letters of blessings could hurry and start piling up!

  7. Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. I don't want to be one to give advice so i'll just tell you what God's putting on my mind right now.

    It's Satan who wins when we allow situations and relationships to be torn apart. Thats what he tries to do. That's what makes him happy. God on the other hand is a uniter. He uses the horrible circumstances to make something good. I know that's what I'm trying to do with Nates death. I know that there is a 75%+ divorce rate after a child dies. I am fighting so hard to not allow Satan to rip apart my family even more than it already has been. My kids already lost their brother and I don't want them to lose their dad.

    I can't pretend to understand to financial pressures that you are going through. I just want to tell you that all of that is really insignificant when it comes down to it. You can't take it with you anyway if you know what I mean.

    So, my friend I will pray for you. I will pray that God finds you where you are and that He leads you out. We're all on this path together and I'm going to hold your hand to make sure that you don't take a detour!!!!


  8. I am so sorry, Emily. Loss is hard enough without all this other stress on top of it. I've been there, just recently, with my husband. I really didn't think we'd make it through. We still aren't completely through it, but things are getting better. He started seeing my therapist with me. Would your husband consider counseling? They really just don't get it and they are in a different place, in pain too, don't know how to help us, and it seems like they just push it away instead of dealing with it.

    (((((Emily))))) You are in my prayers.

  9. I'm sorry so many crappy things are happening. You been through enough and you don't need more. I am praying for you.

  10. Oh Emily. I am so very sorry. You two have had the worst year. I will keep you in my prayers.

  11. Emily I am so sorry, I really don't know what to say. (((HUGS)))

  12. Emily, I'm so sorry! It sucks, and I know there's nothing I can say that would help. Please don't give up. People say things when they are hurting that they don't mean. Do you know that I pray for you all. the. time? It's going to start working. Just hang in there!

  13. Just a random reader here who has kept up with you for several months now. I am praying for you, but also wanted to suggest counseling, whether it be pastor or the dreaded psych. You and your Hubby (heck, even your son too!) have a lot going on and it's not bad to need help to get through it.

    Best wishes to you!