Adios, "Mother of the Year" Nomination

How is it fair that, amid all this grief and depression, I'm still expected to be a suitable mommy to Andrew?

Friday he felt a little warm. And started acting like a monster. Grexy, as they say where I'm from. A pain in the booty, we say here. Just crabby, super-sensitive, weepy.

We had the audacity to laugh at him while he was wrestling with us. He came running at my face with his fist up and destruction in his eyes.

I put my hand up to stop him, and accidentally clotheslined him. My 5-year-old!

It didn't go over well. Especially since lately he's been working hard, getting in touch with his inner drama queen.

Later, while brushing his teeth that night, I spot the enemy. A molar popping it's head out.

Then I was all, "oh, poor baby, let me get you some Tylenol."

And they all lived happily ever after......at least, until the next drama.

Andrew Lost His First Tooth!

Andrew Demonstrates the Fine Art of Shoe Tying

Those who know me best know that my husband and I have been trying to conceive (TTC, for those who've been through it) for almost 4 years. We've tried Clomid (the pill) and Profasi (the shot in me bum), we've taken temperatures and turned sex into a chore, we've weathered on confirmed miscarriage and one unconfirmed.

After four years, we've finally gotten comfortable with having an only child. We'd effectively given up on having another baby. In fact, I'd convinced myself that I really didn't want one, it was just my biological clock ticking. Further, I was sabotaging any conception efforts by NOT losing the weight I was sure I needed to in order to conceive.

Four years of feeling your heart sink when you start your period. Four years of shaking your head at your husband's questioning look. Four years of monthly denial of your God-given duty. Can you wrap your mind around that?

After four years, when the pregnancy test came back positive yesterday, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I'm still numb to it. I'm not sure I know what to think right now.

All I can do is thank God mightily for His blessing, and ask that He protect the life inside me. Because, I think if I miscarry again, I'll go straight off the deep end.

This blog has evolved so many ways and has incorporated so many parts of my life. I'm not sharing this news with the general public, but I felt I couldn't lie to everyone here.

So, there it is. We're expecting!

Ahhh, (cooking at) 34 Feels Good!

Yesterday I celebrated 33 full years on earth. I love my birthday - we try to keep it low-key, but still special. And Meijer offered the perfect means to a wonderful dinner. They had tiny red potatoes on the produce clearance rack for $0.65/lb. So, rather than eating out, we roasted baby potatoes with rosemary and coarse salt, cooked up some chopped steaks, and made homemade French dressing to go with our broccolini. Also on the clearance rack were some bruised and dented granny smith apples,destined to be tossed with some sugar, apple pie spice, and craisins, put into a pie crust and topped with crumb topping. We had the perfect end to the perfect meal.

Yasar thinks I'm nuts, cooking on the day he really wanted to take me out for lunch, but I truly prefer eating at home. I'm not sure if anyone else experiences this, but when I eat out, I usually end up feeling sick and bloated. I can eat the exact same food, cooked in my kitchen, and feel fine. Psychosomatic? Probably. But frugal? Fer sure!

Also, quality ingredients inspire me. I saw those red potatoes, and all my dreams of eating out disappeared. My brother made potatoes like that this past summer on the grill, and I've wanted to try it since. From there it was, "what accompanies potatoes well?". Duh, steak! I even went as far as to put 2 expensive steaks in my cart. Then I saw the lowly chopped steaks. Half the price. Yasar doesn't do bloody steaks, so filet is really wasted on him.

It's a joy to put together a great meal. It's a gift to cook, knowing the outcome will be healthy and fabulous. To see that admiration in my family's eyes is a present I get to enjoy all year long.

Happy birthday to me!

One more thing. The more I ponder birthdays, the more convinced I am that it's a day to say "thank you". Mommy, thank you for going through pregnancy, labor, and delivery. Daddy, thank you for parenting, financing, and encouraging. God, thank you for dreaming me up, and making me a reality.

Thank you. :)

Meet William!

Andrew has his first pet, a betta named William. Tiger also has some new entertainment.

Turning Over a New Leaf....

I love New Year's Day. It's a time of reflection of the past year, successes and failures, what could be improved on and what can be completely deleted. It's a chance to look forward and anticipate what good things are to come. A chance to start over.

Resolution time. What do I hope to accomplish this year?

I want to lose weight. Just like probably 90% of Americans, I want a slimmer waistline, a smaller trunk with a little less junk, maybe definable collarbones. I'm committing myself to exercise and clean eating this year.

I also want to strengthen my relationship with God. How? By reading the whole Bible, front to back, this year. Something I've never done before. Ever since attending parochial school, I've had difficulty reading and absorbing the Word. This year it's time to overcome that.

We also need to get into a better place financially. That's going to become a priority for us this year.

What does 2009 hold in store for us? God only knows right now. But we will continue to pray, and work towards our goals with zeal.

What are your goals?