The TMZ Phenomenon

TMZ may be the final frontier before OldFartsVille. You know when you watch it and go "what the....?", you've officially bid farewell to your vapid youth. I had the misfortune of watching it this morning at 2am. In my defense, there literally was nothing else on.

In a sick way, I found it fascinating.

Harvey Levin, a man I always found amusing on The People's Court, takes on a more creepy persona. He presides over a group of 20-somethings who report on what the paparazzi catches on camera. The commentary is mildly disturbing, Harvey can't stop laughing and chewing on his straw, and he's taking notes on a dry erase board. And the worst part is, he produces this car wreck.

And the paparazzi doesn't just take pictures of the celebrities. They look as if they're actively trying to get a negative reaction from their prey. I guess nothing was learned from the death of Princess Di. Heckling is now socially acceptable.

The kids reporting seem just stupid enough not to be embarrassed by their situation. They're carefully placed to cross social demographic lines, from the long-haired boy in the Metallica t-shirt to the Black guy with the 2-foot dreds. Whoever writes for these poor kids needs some help - the punchlines are pathetic. But they keeo Harvey laughing in between straw-knawing.

Oh, and the commercials. The penis pump. It says a lot about the show. Classy.

Thank God for PBS.

The Antidote to TV

Well, it's officially been over a week without TV. Let me rephrase that, I am guilty of waking up one morning at 4am and watching Hell's Kitchen. And I'm paying for it...TV is like crack, once you quit cold turkey, you can't go back. It get better every day, though.

So what have we been doing with ourselves instead?

Library - I was shocked and amazed when we first went to the library last week. It's like Ali Baba's cave, full of knowledge and entertainment, but long forgotten. They have a summer reading club for both kids and adults. How about a whole wall full of books on CD? Free DVD's? Seminars? You can even log in from home and reserve books, or get put on the waiting list for one of the more popular books. We're making library time a weekly event. And it's something that Andrew looks forward to.

Exercise - Yesterday was a first for me. I hooked up the drag-along carrier, plunked Andrew in it, and rode to Meijer to shop. We got to take advantage of some great clothing clearances (thanks Beth!) on winter items for next year. Unfortunately the exercise front is going to be limited to that for a few days...Andrew is limping about and we see the doctor about it today.

Playing with Andrew - This is hands-down my favorite. I have this amazing kid, and regretfully I was too absorbed in TV to notice. We have so much fun now, with board games, books, and playing outside. He's a little sponge, always soaking up knowledge. We talk about everything now, and I marvel in his preschool wisdom.

You know, we were paying about $2.50 per day for the "privilege" of having the talking box steal our life. I can't tell you how liberating it is to be without it. Try it yourself, maybe with a TV-free day. Let me know how it works for you.

Reality Bites...Back - Update

Funny thing happened yesterday. Got a call from DirecTV, they asked how I was doing without their services. I guess they expected me to be crying and begging for my next fix. I said we were doing fine, we didn't have the funds to pay right now, but I was aware that it is my responsibility and they will be paid ASAP. Maybe I messed up the poor girl's script. Anyway, we were behind 2 months, she said if we paid right then, she would credit one of the months.

Heck yeah!

So I dug out a credit card, dusted it off (it's been awhile since I've had the pleasure/pain/guilt of using one of these), and paid the bill. She then put me on hold for a bit, came back, and asked if my service had been restored. I said I didn't know, I was upstairs and not close to any TV's.

She was dumbstruck. What? A cut-off customer NOT desperate for reconnection????

I had to chuckle.

Hope you did, too.

Anyway, OT, prayers for Beth and Gianni, they'll be travelling from Eastern PA to Western OH late tonight. Can't wait to see you guys!

Reality Bites...Back

You know, I don't generally like to delve too deeply into my personal life on here, but as my BFF Melissa says, "my blog, my rules"....so I'm going to unload the things that have been heavy on my mind.

Summertime in the pizza industry must be something like winter for the ice vendors of old. Not to say we don't get any business, we do. But it's never enough to hit that mystical "break even point". And, as business owners, the first person to feel the sacrifice is ourselves, usually with the forfeiture of our paychecks.

So here we are, just looking down our third pay period without a check. And that gets a little frustrating. I mean, we have bills to pay, too. Mortgage, utilities, groceries, credit cards, that all doesn't just stop when business isn't panning out. And, as you've probably already figured out, the inevitable happened this week.

Yes, our cable was turned off.

Hey, we're grateful it wasn't something vital, like the electric or gas.

And I refuse to look on this as a negative thing. I had blogged a few months ago that, when our DirecTV contract was up, we were going TV-free. And we're just a month from that time. So instead of moping and bemoaning my fate (noHell'sKitchennoBachelorettenoPeople'sCourt), I'm embracing the fact that I now have HOURS of my life back! Yes, yesterday morning I was at the gym at 6:30am, rather than lying on the couch and trying to catch up on grown-up DVR before Andrew woke up. I'll tell you, it was a liberating experience!

So I guess I'll be seeing alot more of you guys now, since I actually have time to blog more. And maybe I'll lose those 15lbs I've been struggling with this last year. I know I'll be working at the nursing home more, if only to pay off DirecTV once and for all. And, you know what? I might actually develop a terrific relationship with my little guy.

Aren't you jealous?

Farmer Wants A Wife?

Okay, I think the reality show circuit has finally gone too far. There's this charming show, where a bona fide "good ol' boy" is single and sifting through 10 "city gals" looking for true love. Ho hum, seen it before, right? Well, it's the way he tells them that they've been eliminated that just kills me. In the beginning it was pretty tame, whose jug (of cider, mind outta the gutter!) was fullest, whose chicken has an egg under them. Well, last night the girls had to check cows for pregnancy, and the one whose cow wasn't preggers went back home. And how, pray tell, do you check a cow for pregnancy? Well, you pull on a shoulder-length plastic glove and stick your hand all the way into the pooper, of course!

Oh, and the previews for next week promise something to do with guns.

I'm going back to PBS....

A Glimpse into My DVR

Near the top of my "To Do in Heaven" list is to seek out the individual behind the TiVo movement and thank him profusely for his contribution to my earthly sanity. I shudder to think that, in a little more than a month, we expect to be a TV-free family, and will have to learn to actually spend quality time together. So I thought that, as a tribute to and remembrance of my TV and all that it means to me, I'd share my DVR list and thoughts. Enjoy....

Little Bill
For those of you who didn't major in preschool TV, this is a cartoon version of The Cosby Show. It's based on the books by Bill Cosby. Set in a Philly suburb, Little Bill is a charmingly wholesome little kindergartener who loves to imbue moral lessons on my son. And it's usually very relevant, with lessons on teasing, making friends, honesty, etc. Think "Little House on the Prairie" meets the year 2007. 4.5 Stars

The Magic School Bus
This is one of those cartoons that has spanned the generations, at least in the Wasouf household. The Magic School Bus is still the same as it was when I was a kid. Andrew really seems to like it, and learns from it. Would you believe the other day he gave me a lecture on the digestive system, complete with graphics? I'm all in favor of him enjoying and learning from this show, even if it is a little advanced for his age. 4 Stars.

America's Funniest Home Videos
Now, I insist on having some "transitional" TV loaded and ready to go. I mean, really, there's only so much animation a grown-up should have to take, right? Andrew and I both get a kick out of watching men getting whapped in the jewels, and teenagers taking nosedives off trampolines. But our favorites are hands-down the animal bloopers. Nothing puts a smile on your face quite like a cat freaking itself out with a mirror! 4.5 Stars.

Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares
This one's for after Andrew's bedtime. Gordon cusses way too much for this to be seen during daylight hours. But the man fascinates me, he's such a driving force in the restaurant industry. And he's hot! 3 Stars.

Word World
This is a great little cartoon on PBS, where everyday objects are made up of the letters that spell them. Like the Bear's home is actually made of the letters C-A-V-E. Andrew's really learning to spell now, and we credit this show for much of that. 5 Stars.

Judge Judy
I consider this to be educational TV for grow-ups. You'd be surprised the applicable lessons packed into 30 minutes. But I still say the only thing scarier than Judge Judy on a rampage is Judge Judy smiling. 3.5 Stars.

Sesame Street
The old classic, another that spans the generations. Andrew loves Elmo (what kid doesn't?) and all the little skits they do. For me, there's more of a dark side to Sesame Street. I was in the heart of my impressionable years when Mr. Hooper died. Though I haven't sought therapy (yet), it's still a little disturbing to watch the show. That and whatever happened to Big Bird's voice? Is it me, or is it different? 4 Stars.

Bunnytown
I look forward to this half-hour of entertainment! It's like a variety show, probably alot like the old Muppet Shows, but the humor is on both child and adult levels. What really tickles my funnybone is Pinky Pinkerton, the sportscaster who covers events like potato sack races and piggyback marathons. A total hoot! 5 Stars.

Supernanny
You know, I used to watch this show with an air of superiority. That "well, at least we're not THAT bad" attitude. Now we just watch for tips. Pretty soon, we'll be calling "Help Us Jo!!!" 4 Stars.

Independent Lens
You know you're getting old when whatever's on PBS is worth precious DVR space. Either that, or PBS is getting more interesting. Either way, we pay attention to what's on the Independent Lens. One that's held court on my DVR since January is an episode about a 21-year-old diagnosed with Aspberger's Syndrome. Fascinating, how someone with social disabilities integrates into the adult world. But they've always got some different topics on, and it's rare that it's something uninteresting. 5 Stars.

What's Real about Reality TV?

America's Next Top Model- Okay, I'm guilty. I love this show. But my only real fascination is watching the photoshoots, and comparing them to the finished photos. They have (I mean had, this IS cycle 9!) some really original ideas for pictures. I loved Tyra's black & white scary face shoot, the one in Thailand where the girls were hanging above the floating market, and whenever they do something really dramatic with their makeup. Not so fond of the dramadramadrama. But it's part and parcel, when you have a bunch of girls living together, it's to be expected. Tyra, you are a little stuck on yourself, though. Please stop "dropping it like it's hot" on national TV. You're not as fly as you once were....

Real Housewives of NYC- OMG, this one takes the cake. Can we say "spoiled"? Helloooooooo.

Biggest Loser- You gotta love a reality show that really changes lives. One of my personal favorites, but I always have to wonder if anyone watched this show who is a normal, healthy weight. Of course, you can always just watch the show to watch Bob (yummy!).

Survivor - the original, but getting a little "ho. hum, seen that challenge before". Maybe if they film it in a place where survival is more difficult? Antarctica? Nah, they wouldn't be able to show off their boobies. Oh, and what happened to the "survivors" being hungry? Has anyone else noticed that the producers are constantly providing food rewards? Wasn't that part of the charm, watching the "survivors" scramble over a grain of rice or a rotten, fouled fish carcass? Remember when rats were haute cuisine?

American Idol-You know, last season was the first and last time I got emotionally involved with Idol, and I pretty much lost that envolvement when the train-wreck that was Sanjaya left the building. Though watching Blake was something to see. Did anyone else notice the way his face went blank when he performed? Phenomenal performer, if he would have just had some emotion in his face!

Hell's Kitchen- Ohhh, Gordon, you are a bad, bad boy. One of those bad boys that we just want to love and feed ice cream to and do backflips to make you giggle. This is a fun show, as long as you're not much of a foodie...they spend more time emphasizing how HARD restaurant life (and Ramsey, since they always show him with his shirt off) is.

Top Chef- Now this is the foodie show. So much fun, watching the chefs buy 5 items out of a gas station and make a 12-course gourmet meal with it! Who comes up with these challenges? They're using black chicken, guiduck, razor clams, and Krispy Kreme! Endlessly fascinating...

Iron Chef- Ahhh, this one will teach you something about real cooking. But more process than recipes. And you can't beat Alton Brown's ascerbic sense of humor, sprinkled over the show like the finishing fleur de sel.

Wife Swap- Oh, my. I try to never miss this show. It's a sick fantasy of mine, that they would call my house, and swap me with some selfish, career-minded, overly-strict, lazy, rule-driven mom, and in the end Yasar would swear, over a dozen roses, that he never wants to live his life without me (but don't we all watch this show with that same fantasy?). Not that I'm not appreciated here, but, well....you know. Oh, whatever happened to Trading Spouses? It was so much more entertaining when the new moms had to allocate the $50k, wasn't it?

Ice Road Truckers/Deadliest Catch/America's Port (new this week)-Kudos to NatGeo and Discovery Channel for exposing REAL reality TV. They just highlight that we don't need to watch size-zero girls fight over lipstick or 300+ pound people shirtlessly jiggle their way to the scale, to be captivated.

The Best Laid Plans....

Well, so much for getting some gym-time this morning. Andrew was up at 3:30am, complaining of a tummyache. And do you think I have any medicine in the house for that? Noo-ooooo. Poor little guy, he didn't get much rest last night. Someone's due for a long, Long, LONG nap today.

Funny thing, this 24-hour Noggin network. Wonder why they bumped Oobi to 2am? Maybe too much attention from The Soup on E? (Damn you, Joel McHale! You're lucky you're so funny!) It's sad, how they manage to pervert a very cute show. But, I've got to say, they're on the mark with Hip Hop Harry. Stupid Scott makes me cringe!

Hmm, what's for breakfast? 6 egg whites and a piece of dry toast? Hold me back!