Not every day is sad.
Today's been a good day. I've gone through the motions - showered, made some pizzas, chatted with Yasar. Finished a book. Had a water fight with Andrew and watched a few episodes of Popular Mechanics for Kids with him (which, BTW, is one of the coolest kid's shows out there!). I've listened to some Casting Crowns and Natalie Grant, and even sang along.
Not every day feels like emotional hell. But when those days come, it's never with warning. And they don't pussyfoot around. There's no easing into it. A bad day starts early and lasts until bedtime. A whole day shot.
So far the bad days outnumber the good. It's easier to keep track of the days I haven't cried then the days I have. But that's starting to change. Lately, it's been more "partly cloudy" then "thunderstorms". That isn't to say that I'm even close to being normal. I'm still all mopey and eeyore-like. But a day without tears is a step in the right direction.
They say getting through something like this is literally "one day at a time". One good day, one exceedingly rotten day, it's still a day further than you were yesterday.