My Little Lamb

I have a confession to make.

I'm 34 years old, and I still sleep with a teddy bear.

It was cool when I was pregnant. All of the sudden, I had an excuse to cuddle up to something. Sore ta-tas will do that for you.

But, since losing Leila, I'm back to being just a weird thirty-something with a seriously juvenile penchant.

Yesterday Andrew and I went to Build A Bear, on a mission.

The bag that held Leila's ashes still had some residue in it after she was put into her memory box.

So I wanted to have that put in a sweet, cuddly bear for me to snuggle with at night.

This lamb was perfect. We put the little bag into the stuffing, sewed her shut, and now I have a little bit of Leila to hold.

Either very comforting or a bit disturbing, you decide.

But right now, it's about what gets me through the night.


  1. I don't find this disturbing at all, and I'm sure cuddling with your Leila lamb will be a comfort for you when times are hard.

  2. I love that you did that! It's a beautiful, comforting way to remember and hold on to your daughter.

  3. I think it's great. I have several stuffed critters I just can't let go of. And your lamb is extra special!!!!

  4. I still sleep with the blanket Ella was wrapped in at the hospital. Sometimes I wrap a teddy bear up in the blanket and rock it. Whatever gives us comfort, right?

  5. I don't think it is disturbing at all. I think it's wonderful.