No one plans to lose a baby. It's not like you know what's going to happen, so you gather your support system around you in preparation for the blow to come. When the contractions start coming early, and you're scared out of your mind, the last thing you think of is "what will I need...after?"
What we needed after was to know that we were understood. That someone out there in this crazy world has been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt and soundtrack. And, at a time when you can't formulate the thoughts or words to tell your family over the phone, and can't stop crying long enough to type out an email, it's comforting to be lifted by strangers and their calling.
I've already told you how wonderful the OB staff was in the hospital. Without their loving guidance and support, I surely would have made some decisions I would be regretting already. But what I really wanted to talk about in this post is the Peace Bear Project.
When you leave the hospital without a child, it's a gut-wrenching moment. It's like you feel singled out, carrying out that purple satin box instead of the baby you dreamed about. Not needing a carseat. Having nothing but the bleakest days ahead. And, while nothing can really console you at that point, someone is trying. Sending you a teddy bear to fill your arms. In memory of the daughter they lost. The Young's have made it their mission that people who lose their babies in the Dayton area know that they're not alone. That they've taken their pain and channelled it into something positive. And maybe, just maybe, someday you'll be able to as well.
The Peace Bear Project offers hope. That, while you're at your lowest, something good can come of it. And someone cares about your empty arms, too. Even if they have no idea who you are, and what you're going through. It helps you to not feel so alone. And I was just blown away by this ministry.
What an amazing, inspiring thing to do for grieving mothers!